Every Rose Has Its Thorn
by BasementOfTheMansion
Summary: It's Valentine's Day, and Shego's ready to wreak some havoc... Unfortunately, Drakken's short a plan. Can you smell "cheap improvised plot"? D/S-ish.


**Title:** Every Rose Has Its Thorn  
**Disclaimer:** Pfft! Yeah, right... You know the deal, guys.  
**A/N:** Just a bit of D/S friendshippy fluff.

* * *

"So what is it this year?" Shego asked as she walked into the lab. "Mind control serum in the chocolate? Brainwashing waves in electronic greeting cards? Turning teddy bears into a robot army? C'mon, don't leave me in suspense."

There was a stirring among a pile of paper and circuit boards, and Dr. D pulled himself off his worktable to face the intrusion on his peaceful sleepytime world. "What in blazes are you _talking_ about?"

Shego's grin faltered. "Oh, don't tell me you forgot..."

"Forgot...?" he echoed dazedly, rubbing his eyes and trying to get up to speed.

"You don't know what today _is_?"

"Yesterday was Friday, so... Saturday. Right?"

"The date, genius."

He pushed back the edge of his glove to check his watch. "The fourteenth. The _fourteenth_?! Already?"

"I can't believe you! Every other year, you cook up some harebrained scheme to destroy Valentine's Day, which the cheerleader foils by mid-afternoon, then you spend the rest of the day eating chocolate and sniffling over _Love Quantifiably _and I make fun of you for it. And now, the one year it _finally_ falls on a Saturday so I can make triple overtime holiday pay, you forget! What were you doing anyway?"

Drakken shuffled through the blueprints that had served as his pillow. "I was working on the, um..." He stared at a paper for a few seconds, then turned it upside down. "Matter... demolecufication transmitter? Ugh, I need to stop inventing things at four in the morning." He crumpled the useless plan up and tossed it over a shoulder.

"So that's it? You've got nothing? We're not even going to inconvenience a handful of lovesick saps on the most pointless, over-commercialized day of year?" Shego sounded surprisingly crestfallen.

Drakken considered this for a moment, eyes lighting up with a sudden spark of connection, then staggered out of his chair and crossed the room to a safe. "I was saving this one for a rainy day," he began as he dialed in the combination, eventually pulling out what appeared to be a high-tech pesticide gun. "I've refined my mutagen to actually create a vicious semi-sentience in plants. It hasn't been tested yet, but it should give those defenseless bouquets a chance to cut back!"

Shego grinned wickedly. "Mutant roses. Sounds like a plan. I'll go fire up the hovercar!"

"Excellent, Shego! Love the enthusiasm!"

"Triple overtime pay, remember?" her retreating form called before disappearing through the door.

"...Right."

* * *

_Later..._

* * *

Two tattered figures dragged their way through the lair, finally collapsing on the couch in the de facto living room.

"I can't believe Kim Possible foiled my killer roses!" Drakken moaned, head dropping into his hands in lament.

Shego grimaced as she gingerly massaged one of the nasty scratches that crisscrossed her body. "Well, it's a good thing she toasted your roses, Doc, or _we_ would have been toast. Next time, why don't you make it so your own creations don't, y'know, _attack_ us?"

Instantly, he snapped upright and scoffed. "A minor setback. I told you I hadn't tested the formula. I just need to work on the aggression levels and add some obedience vectors... They'll be perfect!"

"Believe that when I see it," Shego muttered, then brightened up. "Well, at least it wasn't a total loss. Didja see all those couples fleeing in terror from that outdoor cafe? What a hoot!"

"Why are you so optimistic today? You _never_ take the good with the bad!" He eyed her suspiciously. "You haven't been Moodulated, have you?"

Shego expression soured immediately. "Do _not_ remind me of that. We don't talk about that, remember?"

"Yeesh. Touchy."

"I actually had fun today, though," she admitted. "I mean, I knew your stupid plan would be a bust--"

"Hey!"

"--But we wreaked havoc, ruined the Princess's day with her little boyfriend, made it home in time for your girly movie, _and_ I got paid triple for the whole thing. That's a win in my book."

"Glad one of us thinks so," Drakken grumbled.

"Anyway, it beats spending Valentine's Day alone," she added breezily, but couldn't quite pull off her usual blase tone.

That comment earned her a sidelong glance and one of those awkward moments that seemed to pop up so frequently since the invasion.

"Your movie should be on about now, you know," she finally said into the silence.

"Wha--Really?" Dr. D fumbled for the remote, flipping the giant monitor onto the Lifespan Channel. "Argh! It's already fifteen minutes in! Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Do I look like a TV Guide?"

"Well, obviously you knew! Oh, never mind," he huffed, turning his attention to the screen.

"Oh, the joys of tradition..."

"Shh!"

* * *

**A/N II:** Title from the Poision song of the same name. It's intended as camp, okay? Even I can't get that cheesy with a straight face. _Love Quantifiably_ (_Love Actually_) and Lifespan (Lifetime) are my own unorigonal jokes. I just see the Doc getting teary over romcoms... Don't tell me you can't see it, too. All the technobabble is complete fabrication. Happy V-Day, kids.


End file.
